Lavi plus story equals not even mentionable
by NekoCatty
Summary: Lavi wants to write a story, first he needs ideas then needs to read it...


"I want to write a story!" yelled Lavi, hitting Kanda's head.

"What the hell was that for!" Kanda yelled, sheathing Mugen out.

"I don't know what to writtte though!" he complained.

"Hey Lavi!" Lanelee said, waving her hand.

"I wanna write a story." Lavi said, running for his life as Kanda slashed everywhere with rage. "Do you have any ideas?" he pleaded.

"Uh… I know!" Lanelee yelped, with a light bulb on top of her head. "Why Leverier is so stupid!"

"I'll consider it." He said, writing it down on his wrist.

"No swinging your sword here." Said a familiar voice behind everyone. "You could've hit my dear Lanelee."

"Devil!" gasped Kanda, running for his life.

"Go get him! Komuirin 9999999!" he yelled as a Godzilla sized machine started to chase Kanda.

"Komui." Lavi said with his face as pale as a ghost. "Do you have any idea's for a story?" he asked.

"Yes I do." He huffed as he grabbed a whole list with over 500 ideas. "here." He handed the list to Lavi as Lavi skimmed through the whole list.

"This all has too do with Lanelee."

"She is the best after all."

"I'll consider it…" Lavi said, eyeing a drill behind Komui's back.

"I look forward to it." Komui smiled, walking off and followed by Lanelee for her next mission.

"Lavi? You look like you've see a ghost?" Jerry said, carrying a box full of sugar.

"Something even worse…" Lavi thought for a second. "Jerry! What is a good idea for a story!" he shouted.

"Uh… how about a recipe book, now if you mind I have to dump this sugar into General Cross' booze."

"Why?"

"He gets drunk too much so we have a new food program for him. Instead of alcohol it is sugar! Back to the kiddy days!" he said, walking towards the direction of the kitchen.

"Hi Lavi." mumbled Krory. "Do you know what day today is?"

"Sunday or Monday?" he replied.

"Today is the day Eliade died!" he sulked.

"Do you know of a good idea for a story?" Lavi asked.

"Yes… a memoriam for Eliade!" he started to sulk even more. "I also have tons of pictures with her…" he said, getting 10 pictures of her smiling.

"I will consider it then." He said, smiling at the crying adult.

"Thank you." He said, walking off.

"Lavi?" said Reever and Johnny. "We couldn't help but to eavesdrop on you and we know a fantastic idea."

"Seriously! You guys are life savers!" he yelped.

"My idea is why can't I dissect Kanda's brain and replace it with a 5 year olds." Reever said.

"Mine is Why Tapp and his sister look alike." Johnny said. "We have to go now."

"Bye." Lavi said.

"Lavi, why are you in the middle of the hallway?" Allen said, with Link behind him.

"Do you know any good ideas for a story?" he asked with aa tired face.

"Um… Um… I know!" Allen exclaimed. "Why Chocolate cake is better than Apple Crumble!"

"How 'bout you Link?"

"What will happen if all the Noahs and the Earl attack us at once."

"I can't read the future, Link." He replied, even more tired.

"If you ask a General, they'll know of one." Link said, walking off the Allen.

"Bye!" Allen waved.

"Yeah…"

"Have you seen Jerry?" said someone that reeked of cigarettes.

"General Cross." Lavi said, shocked.

"What?" he asked, glaring at him.

"Do you know of any good ideas for a story?" he asked.

"Yes I do… Who'll look best in a bikini, Claude or Lanelee."

"I knew it."

"Someone said my name." said a pissed off woman.

"Claude, you're as beautiful as a swan!" Cross said, "Would you want to have a few dri-"

"No."

"One drin-"

"No."

"A date?"

"No."

"Bye." Lavi said, slipping out of the one sided cheating love.

"Yo." Marie said.

"Hi." Lavi said. "Do you know of a idea for a story?"

"Yes, Classical music vs Rock'n roll."

"Therre you are." Said Tiedoll.

"Ya." Marie said, turning pale.

"Kanda and you ran off when I wanted to plllay dress up." He slurred slowly, holding up a pink tutu with boys and frills.

Marie gulped as he started to run for his life.

"Do what you want to do". Tiedoll murmured, walking away.

"Thank you!" yelled Lavi as a idea popped into his heaad aas he squeezed the general, then running off to his room.

He grabbed his black macbook and began to type furiously.

One week later.

One month later

One yeaar later.

"Is that a beaaaard!" yelled Lanelee at Lavi's reddish beard that went down to his waist.

"Didn't shave for a year." Lavi replied, with bags under his eyes.

"What is your story about?" Kanda asked.

"Read it!" Allen said, in his pyjama's and Tymcampy on his lap.

"I will…" Lavi said, grabbin 400 pages of paper. He coughed a few times before starting.

"Once upon a time, there lived a 18 year old called Lavi. He had 100 different girlfriends and was really hot that…" Lavi squinted his eyes. "That he could get any girls. One day at the Black order, the place he worked at , he saw a pink leprechaun in Kanda's room so he ran to catch it but tripped and fell and broke this thingy…" he said, reaching out behind his back and showed a smashed flower with glass pieces in it.

"Son of a bitch." Kanda said, rolling up his sleeve and walking towards him.

"Kanda just kissed Lanelee!" Lavi yelled.

"Kanda!" yelled Komui, with a bigger drill then usual, as Komui dragged Kanda by the collar and brought him out of the room.

"That takes care of the demon king." Lavi muttered, continueing. "Then the handsom Lavi panicked and by mistake dropped a few glasses of Krory's Akuma blood iinto some Oden in the kitchen…"

"WHAT!" Allen gasped, activating his innocence.

"MY AKUMA BOTTLES!" Krory wimpered.

"LINK! ALLEN WAS JUST TALKING ABOUT KILLING THE EXORCISTS!" Lavi yelled. "KRORY IS SUCKING MY NECK!"

Link walked into the room and tied Allen and Krory with titanium chains and was pulling thim to Leveriers office.

"You went into my kitchen?" Jerry said, getting angry and grabbing the handle of a kitchen knife.

"BAK! JERRY TRIED TO STEAL LANELEE'S PANTIES!" he yelled.

"What! My dear fair maiden!" Bak said, dramatically then glared at Jerry. "YOU!" he pointed his fingers as he yanked the chef by the ear.

"So he started to panic even more and by mistake stepped on a dollhouse and also stepped on this monkey thingy tail." Lavi paused, feeling uncomfortable.

"You stepped on my dollhouse that I made for Marie and Kanda to play with." Tiedoll grumbled under his grayish beard.

"You stepped on my innocence?" Claude said.

"CLAUDE IS NAKED!" yelled Lavi.

"really!" Cross exclaimed, carrying her and walking out of the room.

"TIEDOLL JUST SAID LEVERIER IS A BASTARD!" he yelled.

"I am used to it but a general saying it is too much." Leverier said, pulling Tiedoll on a leash.

"How much of a audience do I have?" Lavi said, looking at the room. "Lanelee, Zokalo, Johnny, Marilda, Reever and lastly… that's it!" Lavi started to gag.

"Continue." Zokalo said.

"Okay… and then later that night we started to play strip poker and I lost but still wanted to play so I used this thingy…" Lavi pulled out a very funny looking innocence weapon.

"I believe that is mine…" said General Zakalo, about to rugby tackle Lavi. Lavi miraculously dodged by doing a side step.

"THIS GUY IS TRYING TO ASSUALT A POOR INNOCENT YOUNG MAN!" he yelled.

"FBI." Said to men in black suits. They dragged the general out of the room.

"FBI? Are they even supposed to exist yet?" Lavi mumbled, confused. "And I quit after the poker game since I lost so I decided to sneak into Marilda''s room to play back time so I can win the poker game! Of course I kinda forgot that you cannot go back in time so I fiddled with it and some smoke came out by accident… hee hee?" Lavi said, facing a sad looking Marilda who was to gloomy to look at.

"Why!" she cried, running out of the room.

"…." Lavi started to continue, "So I ran out of her room and broke a few glass bottles. I didn't know what to do so I put the remaining ones on a medicine cabinet…" Lavi said, "Please sit down." He said, facing a angry mob.

"So maybe that was the real reason of the black orders destruction!" Reever said, irritated.

"KOMUI! Come here at once!" yelled Kanda on the other side of the room. "I just eaves dropped on something you might want to know!"

"Lavi… I am disappointed of you even though I don't expect much of you…" Johnny said, putting her hand on his shoulder.

"Lavi, stop using me as a reason anymore." Lanelee said, smiling but activating her innocence.

And that is the reason why Lavi didn't become a writer.

Sorry about the lame ending!


End file.
